I will admit I am one of those people who actually benefits from therapy. I saw a therapist every 3 weeks for this past winter semester while at BYU. I learned SO much about myself...
I learned that it takes a LOT to get me to cry. That every experience I face will be implanted in my mind forever. "Forever?" you ask. "Forever." I have realized that my past is going to haunt me. But what I haven't figured out, is why.
My first haunting experience is as follows: When I was at my first year of EFY, I got treated like a princess by my counselor. She acted like we were best friends, and it meant the world to me. But when EFY was over, she turned her back on me and I experienced my first heart break. I learned then that people can't be trusted... That friends will never really truly be there for you. That everything good always comes to an end.
Yeah, that's what I believed, for a long time. I honestly thought that I didn't deserve to be happy because if I was happy, even for a moment, it would end, and I'd be better off miserable than happy for an instant.
But let me ask you this: Don't you deserve to be happy?? Don't you deserve to be brilliant and fabulous and loved and needed? The answer is simple. The answer is yes.
But the struggle we face isn't on why we should be happy, it's how to be happy. It's the same problem I struggle with... Why my past haunts me... If I could just figure out a solution, wouldn't life just be infinitely better??
Anyone out there have any ideas?
Some of us need some desperately.
i.am.my.own. best friend.
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